09/29/07

Always remember.

1. Romance Mathematics :-
   Smart man + smart woman = romance
   Smart man + dumb woman = affair
   Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
   Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
2. Office Arithmetic :-
   Smart boss + smart employee = profit
   Smart boss + dumb employee = production
   Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
   Dumb boss+ dumb employee = loss
3. Shopping Mathematics :-
   A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
   A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
4. General Equations and Statistics :-
   A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
   A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
   A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
   A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
5. Happiness :-
   To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
   To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
6. Longevity :-
   Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
7. Propensity to change :-
   A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
   A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.  
8. Discussion Technique :-
   A woman has the last word in any argument.
   Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
9. How to stop people from bugging you about getting married :-
   Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're  next."
   They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.